Breaking Through Old Paradigms within the Family Unit - Speaking about Mental Health at Home

Written By Jai Bhakti Yoga Foundation

Take the Mental Health Poll Here

Sometimes you ask for help and get a million suggestions on how to do something other than the support that you were seeking or thought you needed.

Support may come in the form of just being heard, some resources for therapy, a hug, or a shoulder to cry on. There is no “fixing” anything, just finding solutions together or through some guidance to come to a solution of your own.

Over time, as a society and culture, we have come to depend on the world of medicine to “numb” the pain away by taking chemicals such as various mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and various substances. Leading to a rise in substance abuse and suicide.

Tatiana Gonzalez, Advocacy and State Program Director for NAMI asks, “What will you do if that person did not help you as you needed them to?” She responded, “Talk to a friend, write in your diary, walk your dog….”

I would also like to add to her question, “What will you do when those substances don’t help you as they were supposed to?”

As a society, we have come to seek outside ourselves for validation, refuge, support, and growth. Not recognizing that outside circumstances are a byproduct of inner awareness.

Tatiana refers to the source of Mental Health America, in which they state,

“As a parent, loved one, or concerned individual it is important to be able to recognize the signs and symptoms of someone undergoing a mental health problem. By doing so, you can have a conversation with them and express the changed behavior that you have witnessed. Some of the signs can be: (and there is no judgment if you are one or all of these right now, that is what we are here for and why we are having these conversations).”

  • Having difficulty concentrating

  • Having difficulty remembering

  • Having difficulty thinking

  • Change in appetite, eating too little or too much

  • Constantly feeling sad, excessive crying

  • Feeling desperate or unworthy

  • Loss of interest in things you once liked

  • Excessive worrying

  • Irritability

  • Fidgeting

  • Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much

  • Not wanting to be close to friends or participate in activities you once loved doing

If you notice these symptoms, it is important to talk to your loved one of whom you confide in most.

We all experience mental health struggles at some point in our lives so being open and honest about them and knowing how to talk about them is so important.

In Ep. 10 Celebrate Liberation (From Cultural to the Individual), Tatiana shares her story of battling with Mental Health and how she worked through it with her family.

TOP 5 Suggestions for Support:

Some suggestions she shares from Mental Health America is:

  1. Practice active listening. As a society, we do not do this enough. This is when you are focused solely on what the person is saying and leave behind other distractions. Make sure you assure them that you are listening. (not with emotion but as an observer).

When you are listening, start asking open-ended questions like “How did that make you feel”?

2. Do NOT compare. If someone is sharing something difficult with you, you may feel inclined to share with them how you overcame a similar difficulty (DON’T DO THAT… yet…. remember it is NOT about YOU it’s about Them right now).

LatinX and Hispanic people have an incredibly resilient approach to life. “You will get through this, I got through it” … Doing this can cause someone to not want to be open and may come across as insensitive. It is okay to share similar experiences but make sure you aren’t comparing this could make the person feel that their pain is not valid.

3. Ask what you can do to help. Offer to help them find a therapist or spend more time together.

Keep your word, If you have offered help to someone during a difficult time, make sure you continue to support them.

The last thing that person needs is to feel abandoned. Make sure you regularly check in on them. Of course, practice self-care and make sure you are taking care of your needs too. If you were not able to keep your promise, ask for an apology and find time to follow through with what was expected of you.

4. Don’t judge. A very important tool to truly support a person, you need to leave behind your opinions and prejudices. Especially in regards to what you think about mental health. Criticizing or judging will not help them heal.

Accompany them through a hard time. When a person is extremely sad or going through a hard time, those emotions seem to dominate their life and can paralyze them or make them not able to carry on with daily tasks. Offer them the help they need to get through a hard time.

5. Know when that person needs more serious help.

Sometimes the help you give is not enough, and that is okay. If you notice your loved one is still struggling weeks or months after reaching out, they may show more serious mental health problems that need professional assistance.

Don’t be afraid to help look for professional help. If your loved one is in immediate danger, please call 911 or go to your local crisis center or emergency department

Here are a few talking points Tatiana shares with you to use at home. Try them, and please do share with us any feedback from them.

Scripts:

Over the past couple of (months, days, years), it seems that you have been feeling (list emotion distant, sad, anxious, sharp, agitated, desperate, distracted, confused, stressed, depressed)

It seems that you’ve been fighting with (your personal matters, job stress, new job, loss of loved one, death of a pet)

I have noticed (your changes in appetite, changes in weight loss of interest, loss of energy, increased energy, inability to concentrate, drinking too much, using drugs, excessive eating, not eating certain foods, paranoia, loss of sleep, too much sleep, rage, deep sadness, thoughts of Suicide)

Talking to you about this makes me feel (out of place, nervous, anxious, hopeful, embarrassed, etc) However, I tell you this because (I am worried about you, it has impacted our relationship, I am scared, I don’t know what else to do, I don’t know if someone else has talked to you about this)

I would like to help you (talk to a medical professional, evaluate what to do, speak about this later today, create a wellness plan, speak about this in great detail, find a support group)

What can I do to help?

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Thank you very much and live well. 

Jai Bhakti Yoga Foundation
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