I needed to hit the pause button and look at my current situation, my environment, and ask myself is this progressing me?

I found myself struggling with myself. With the idea of releasing control and being more relaxed without feeling guilty to take some time to enjoy life. As I was constantly on, my batteries were at their hottest point. They needed a cool down.

Taking time for grounding is my biggest struggle, as being a Vata dominant dosha, I find it hard to be still. I think I am wasting time if I am not being productive.

Aside from the current circumstances that are nothing short of the obvious, mainly learning how to show up authentically for myself and learning to take the time to do so.

With so much happening, I was letting myself become overwhelmed, and in so doing, began to infuse that into my daily routine. I started packing in too much into my day, not keeping up with a healthy schedule, lost track of time, overtasking, working tirelessly on and in my business around the clock with very little to see in return.

I was burning myself out….

I felt the fatigue throughout my body and at times my will to do anything was more apt to do nothing.

“Life was becoming chaotic and unbalanced and I was finding myself going through a rollercoaster of emotions that would also be reflected in the surroundings and circumstances I was experiencing.”

I couldn’t tell you what day it was, and I found myself becoming more introspective. The very thing that was supposed to nourish me, was also making me more stressed and anxiety-ridden. The more I made efforts, the less I saw improvement. My health, mentally, emotionally, and physically, was declining. Something had to change.

I made a commitment to go back to the basics and discover what is the cause of my imbalance and disharmony?

The answer…

Being a people pleaser and not being authentic to myself and my tribe. I wasn’t showing up the way I used too and I found that I was harboring a lot of personal hurts.

Anamaya Kosha is the physical layer of the 5 Koshas and is the manifestation of the cumulative doshic elemental composition that takes in all the experiences, the day-to-day, the chaos, and the moments of peace, love, and everything in between expressing it outwardly through how one shows up on the surface. Anamaya allows the thoughts and ways of being to surface ever so subtly, almost tricking one into thinking that is who they are.

What is not realized, is that Anamaya is a reflection of who we are choosing to be as we take in the surrounding environment and in turn “show up” like that. We can see the reflection on the sun upon the water as clear and vibrant, or dark and murky.

Today I am making the decision to see the reflection on the surface as clear and vibrant.

Journal Topic:

Where did you recognize the imbalance in your life and what have you committed to doing?

Affirmations:

I let go of past hurts
I am healing with each breath
I create healthy spaces
I am open to new possibilities

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